Can I just say, for the record, that I think “should” is a swear word. I do not believe in “should”. I do not promote, endorse, or campaign for “should” and I shudder when someone approaches me starting a sentence with “you should…” When did we all start “should”ing all over each other? It’s getting a little smelly in here.
I was talking to a friend after yoga today about one of the most valuable things that yoga teaches me – self acceptance. This does not come from “should.” Only out of gentleness can a cycle of “should”ing be broken, only from kindness can we begin to take the steps we feel are necessary within our hearts to take. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’ve never yelled myself into doing anything productive. The only thing that subscribing to the shoulds has ever done for me is make me feel less than enough.
It’s a tough cycle for me to break when I walk into a yoga class and immediately notice someone whose butt is higher than mine, thinking that mine “should” be just as upright. Let me tell you, this “should”ing has not yet raised the level of my butt. I’ll let you know if something changes, but for now, it’s highly doubtful.
I’ve taken about three months off of my favorite thing in the world to do – writing. I write each day, but you can bet your bottom dollar that I haven’t posted any of it. Why? Because I’ve had a case of the shoulds. Because it “should” be better, I “should” be doing it more often…so much “should”ing that, three months later, I was alone in a room with a whole bunch of “shoulds” and no materialized writing to be found.
So, this is a virtual toast to those with mid-level butts, to anyone with a severe case of writers block, or to anyone who would really like to stop drinking so much darn coffee in the morning or chewing that whole pack of gum in a day (yes, I have done this…) Embrace it. Love it. Hug it.
But, if you can’t, that’s great too – I for one am certainly not going to tell you that you “should.”