I woke up at 6:15 a.m. this morning. For those of you who know me, you know that this may well be a symbol that the world will, in fact, end in 2012.
I’ve spent the last few mornings … okay, that’s a lie … the last MANY mornings … with one thought screaming over the crowd, decibels louder than the rest:
I wake up feeling this way often, like I’ve somehow spent too long sleeping and the world will simply slip out of my hands if I am to rest another minute. Clearly, I am in control of everything and the world will stop rotating on its axis if I stop moving for longer than necessary…
Ha, ha, ha.
After deliberating over what feels like a life-altering decision for the last couple of days, I woke up this morning in a panic to make a choice over this “pressing” matter – and make one NOW. One choice in this dilemma seems to provide security, while the other one has no proof of what it will provide at all – just a feeling that it’s the “one.”
After waking up in my self-imposed panic, I was headed to meet several friends for an early morning get-together. I turned around at the last-minute and walked back home thinking that more time spent quieting my head would give me the perspective I need to make a decision.
So, I spent two hours IN my head having a conversation with myself about what I should be doing – clearly, this was greatly beneficial to my process.
As I typically do when I’m feeling bent out of shape, I signed on to Facebook to see if there was someone else’s life story that could take me out of my own for a minute. All I kept reading was “Leap! Happy leap day everyone!”
Without my needing to think at all, the answer to my dilemma became abundantly clear. There it was – Leap. I realized that, right now, I am reclining on a net that appeared from the last time I took a leap. When I leaped at that time, I was leaping off of another net. There is so much beauty awaiting in what is not guaranteed. Mind you, I am not endorsing reckless abandon – I am reflecting on where faith has taken me. Most importantly, though my head might not believe it, total world destruction and domination will not occur if I trust that these things will be taken care of without my insisting that a solo version of “The Great Debate” take place in my head for two hours each day.
Oh and also, to the jerk who tells me I’m late every morning – eh, you might be right. Enjoy being a time-obsessed bastard, I’m going to go slowly drink my coffee in that net you swore I wouldn’t be laying in. Hugs and Kisses.